The Black I Chose

The Black I Chose explores isolation, emotional detachment, and self-preservation through dark indie metal, heavy guitars, and haunting atmosphere.

The Black I Chose

Some songs are written from a place of loss. Others emerge from acceptance. *The Black I Chose* belongs somewhere between the two.

While it revisits themes first explored in *I Like My Space*, this track approaches them from a far darker perspective. The desire for distance has evolved into something more deliberate. What was once self-preservation becomes isolation by choice, and what once felt like a temporary refuge begins to resemble a permanent state of mind.

At its core, the song explores the walls people build after disappointment. Trust, once broken often enough, can transform caution into habit. Over time, those protective barriers become difficult to distinguish from the person hiding behind them. The result is a complicated relationship with solitude—one that offers both comfort and confinement.

Musically, *The Black I Chose* embraces a heavier and more aggressive sound than many earlier XoirDrioX releases. Dense guitars, dark imagery, and an unrelenting atmosphere reinforce the emotional landscape of the lyrics. Rather than searching for redemption, the song examines what happens when someone stops looking for it altogether.

The recurring imagery of cemeteries, shadows, winter, and decay is not intended to represent death in a literal sense. Instead, these elements serve as symbols of emotional withdrawal and the gradual abandonment of expectations. The darkness described throughout the song is less a destination than a decision—a place chosen after repeated disappointment.

What makes the song particularly unsettling is its lack of regret. The narrator is not asking to be understood, forgiven, or saved. Instead, there is a sense of certainty that runs through the lyrics, as if the choice has already been made and cannot be undone. Whether that certainty represents strength or surrender is left for the listener to decide.

Like many XoirDrioX songs, *The Black I Chose* avoids simple conclusions. It exists in the space between resilience and resignation, between protection and isolation. It asks a difficult question without offering an easy answer: how much of ourselves do we lose when we decide that distance is safer than connection?

The Black I Chose is available now.

The Black I Chose is available now.

Song lyrics

The world screams loud, I spit it out
I learned to choke when left alone
Some hearts don’t heal, they rot with doubt
And harden into lifeless stone

I guard this space, this hollow cage
You tear to steal what’s left of me
Sometimes I crave your poisoned touch
But death remains better company

I forged these walls from iron spikes
To keep your venom out of sight

I sink into the black I chose
Where silence bleeds and nothing grows
I do not fear the cemetery air
I buried love and left it there

It used to hurt to come undone
When loneliness cut like a knife
The emptiness consumed my heart
I would not sacrifice my life

I walked that road, I paid in blood
I dragged your memory through the mud

Step back and give me room to breathe
And let this final chapter fade
My shadow only brings you grief
You’ll share my fall if you remain

I bent and bent until I snapped
Each touch another hidden sin
Some hearts don’t break, they simply fold
And lock the endless winter in

I feed upon this solitude
I do not need your human touch
I welcome now the quiet tomb
The dead ask far less of us

I sink into the black I chose
No longing left beneath the cold
I do not fear the cemetery air
There’s peace where dying embers go

I crave the dark, the silent grave
It gives me room to feed my ghost
A twisted comfort still remains
Among the things I fear the most

And now I fight to stay detached
No use for tears, no need for trust
A hardened chest, the coffin sealed
What once was pain has turned to dust

Don’t try to save me from my mind
Leave all your fragile hopes behind

I need my space, so stay away
Or taste the darkness if you dare
I hate this game, I hate the lie
There is no love left here to share

I sink into the black I chose
No tears remain, no truth to prove
I do not fear the cemetery air
I tore away the ghost of you

So turn around and leave this place
Don’t pray for some forgotten chance
Deep in the dirt I laid to rest
The last remains of your romance

© Alexander Smoljanovic

Streaming links are here for The Black I Chose.

Read about XoirDrioX Origins.

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